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Pardon me for making my first blog post a metaphorical slap-in-the-face.  But at 8:00 AM this morning, my boyfriend left for his family vacation in Florida and doesn't come back until after I leave for college.  Once again, our relationship has been unnecessarily tested, and we have to go through yet another difficult struggle.  I couldn't keep from crying last night, knowing that when he held my hand, I wouldn't feel his clammy hand until he visits me in August.  I tried memorizing the way it felt when he kissed me so I could reminisce when I missed them.  I ran my fingers through his hair every chance I had, and I couldn't even jump on the trampoline without sobbing in tears, knowing that I will never be able to laugh as hard as I do when I'm with him.  We said goodbye in my car for an hour, hugging each other, sobbing together.  I couldn't let go of him, and I didn't want to hear the word "goodbye" ever come across his lips.  When he said it, I felt like I had entered the Twilight Zone.  That was it.  Our summer together is over already. I came home and wailed on the couch, not being able to control myself.  I went to bed at 3:00 AM this morning, because all I could do was bundle myself in his clothes, curl up into a ball in my bed, and cry.  Now I sit here, trying to write this without spilling more tears on to my keyboard, but I'm failing miserably.

I think it's safe to say that my heart is broken, and I don't think my summer will be the same, knowing he is thousands of miles away from me.  I'll try to have fun.  But not having Nathan to make memories with is definitely going to hinder my happiness.

Again I apologize for the depressing introduction into my life.  I promise things will eventually get better.  Thank you for taking the time to read my blog.  I love you all.